Please turn with me in your Bible to first, the book of Galatians chapter 5; second, Matthew chapter 11. Galatians chapter 5 and then Matthew chapter 11. This summer we are almost completed a sermon series on the fruit of the Spirit. Tonight, we will be looking at the fruit of gentleness. And before we jump in and read, something to orient us to our passages tonight.
A few years ago there was a news story about a man named Robert Smith. He is a tech-billionaire, a philanthropist from Austin, Texas. He was the commencement speaker at Morehouse College – Morehouse is a historically black college in Atlanta, Georgia. Robert Smith had graduated from an HBCU and so he was then getting this opportunity to give back to speak at it. And in the middle of his commencement address – many of you know this story – he stunned the 2019 graduating class because he told them in the middle of his speech that he was going to pay off all of their student debt. And it was in the middle of his speech so it took people a second; it caught people off guard. The faculty, the students, began to look at one another. And it was one of those cheesy graduation speeches, you know, “Conquer the world! You can do it!” but at that point after he had said that, no one is paying attention. These students are crying; these students begin to dance. They cannot believe what they have heard.
One of the students was interviewed afterwards. His name was Aaron Mitchen and he said that he had just accepted a job, that he had put together a spreadsheet because he was trying to be responsible; he knew that he had student debt, he was trying to figure out how long it was going to take him to pay off the $200,000 of college debt. And according to his spreadsheet, it was a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches he said, but according to his spreadsheet it was going to take him twenty-five years to pay off that debt. And in a moment, Robert Smith made it all go away. And in the interview, Aaron said that he was sitting in the crowd when Robert Smith announced that he was going to cancel, announced that he was going to pay off this debt, and Aaron said that, he said, he started to weep, and he said to himself, “I can delete the spreadsheet. I don’t have to eat all of those peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The burden was lifted. My life is changed.”
And so this summer we are looking at the fruit of the Spirit. We are looking at, we are talking about life change. We are looking at this text in Galatians chapter 5, these descriptions of Jesus Christ’s character; that Jesus is love, that Jesus is full of peace, that Jesus is full of joy. “And which Jesus?” we have said. Well, the same Jesus who is inhabiting you, Christian. The same Jesus drawing close to you, drawing you close to Him. And we have been saying that the fruit of the Spirit – love and joy and peace – that this ought to be how we measure our health. This ought to be how we measure our health. Not money, not buildings, but love and joy and peace. Are we learning to love as Jesus has loved us? Are we learning to be peacemakers in the way that Jesus has made peace with us? Are we learning goodness, patience, because we know that Jesus has been patient with us? And so tonight we are going to talk about gentleness, about how to live as a changed man, about how to live as a changed woman, about how to live out of the new life given to you by Jesus Christ.
So before we look at the text, let’s pray and ask for the Lord’s help. Let’s pray.
Our God of all grace, we pray now that the words of my mouth and the medications of all of our hearts would be pleasing and acceptable to You, O Lord our Strength and our Redeemer. We pray that You would come and give Your Word success, that You would work through my lisping and stammering tongue, and that You would drive the hope of the Gospel into our hearts. We pray this in Jesus’ name, amen.
Galatians chapter 5, verses 22 and 23:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
And then Matthew chapter 11. Matthew chapter 11, beginning in verse 28:
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Amen. This is God’s Word.
Tonight we’ll consider gentleness by first looking at a definition of gentleness. What is Paul talking about here? What is Jesus talking about in Matthew chapter 11? He uses the word “gentleness,” that we should be people that pursue gentleness. What does that mean? And then second, the direction. So first, the definition, and second, the direction or how we cultivate gentleness in our life together.
So first, the definition of gentleness. Gentleness grows – as with all fruit of the Spirit, I think it needs to be especially stressed with gentleness – gentleness grows from grace not genes. Gentleness grows from grace not genetics. In other words, gentleness is not general niceness. Gentleness is not a natural disposition. It is not a natural timidness. It’s not a natural agreeableness. It’s not a natural quietness. Gentleness grows from grace. It grows from God’s grace. It’s God’s work in the Christian’s heart, in your heart, through His Spirit to humble you and to bring you low.
I have mentioned before this story, I think it bears repeating given that we are in Matthew chapter 11 tonight. One of my daughter’s – she is our daughter who asks all the questions. I actually saw on Twitter this week, it said – this is an aside but it said, “Parents, the reason that you are tired is that your four-year-old asks 437 questions a day.” That’s the reason, parent, you are tired – 437 questions! And this child probably beats that average, and so when we tuck her in at bed, we get asked dozens and dozens of questions. And this was a night when I was trying to run out the door there had been so many questions. And as I am getting out the door, about to close it, she said to me, “Dad, what is Jesus like? What is Jesus like?”
And I think of all of the questions that can be posed to us in our lives, “What is Jesus like?” I think of all of the questions, there can’t be a question more important than that one. What is He like? Our reading tonight, Matthew chapter 11, “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest, for I am gentle and lowly in heart,” in all of the gospel accounts – Matthew, Mark, Luke and John – only once, only once does Jesus tell us about His very own heart. And to be clear, “heart” in the Bible is not the fist-sized organ, and heart is not just feelings. Your heart is your motivational center. It is not a part of who you are; it is the center of who you are. We live out of our hearts. Every decision that we make is a decision of the heart. And that is our question. “What is the heart of Jesus?” “What is He like, Dad?” We think that He must be somewhat exasperated with me, that surely He must be tired of me. “Won’t he ever get this?” That He must be disappointed. “When will she stop failing?” Because I’ll tell you a little secret about the person sitting next to you – most of us live with a lot of insecurity, and if we are unsure about ourselves, we think, “Well what of God?” If we are unsure of ourselves, then we think, “Well surely God doesn’t have confidence in me.” We’ve all had authority figures express disappointment in us. It is hard for us to imagine that God Himself wouldn’t be. “What is He like, Dad?” That’s what she said.
Well in this only place in the Bible where Jesus pulls back the veil and lets us peer into the core of who He is and the only place where Jesus tells us about His heart. He does not say, “just” and “holy.” He does not say that I am “just and holy in heart.” He does not say, “joyful and generous in heart.” Rather, Jesus says, “I am gentle and lowly in heart.” One church father pointed out that “Jesus could have selected any virtue for us to learn from, for He possessed them all in perfect measure, but when He singles out what above all He wants us to learn from Him, He says, ‘Learn from me this – gentleness and humility, gentleness and accessibility, and you will find rest for your souls.’”
So what does that mean, “gentle” – “I am gentle in heart.” Sometimes you will see this word, the same Greek word, translated in English as “meek.” In Jesus’ most famous sermon, the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew chapter 5, He begins the beatitudes and He says, “Blessed are the meek.” It’s the same word. It’s the same Greek word that we have here in Galatians chapter 5. It’s, “Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.” “Blessed are the gentle.” Gentle has to do with Jesus’ bearing. Gentle has to do with Jesus’ demeanor. One author said gentle has to do with His eyes, how He looked on others, what His eyes communicated to those who looked into them. This author said they were not busy. They were not distracted. They were not disappointed. They were not important, but they were compassionate, they were inviting, they were understanding.
One of the most beautiful things about Jesus in the gospels – has it ever struck you – that all the rejects of His day, the moral failures, the prostitutes, the social failures, the lepers, the tax collectors, and the racial outcasts, the Samaritans, why were all of these weak and fragile and helpless people drawn to Jesus? One author said that, “Jesus was never surprised. Jesus was never taken aback. He never uttered, ‘How could you?’ He was not easily frustrated, neither harsh nor reactionary with weak, fragile, messy people. So the CEO of the universe, “The Word became flesh.” He handled with care those deemed useless. Those deemed beyond repair. Those deemed passed-it, however near extinction. The poorest, the most marginalized, the most alone, the most hurting; that He comes to us, that He meets us where we are. Jesus, as gentle means, as one author says, “that Jesus is the most understanding person in the universe.”
As we define “gentleness,” let me ask you, “How do you handle, how do you handle something or someone who is fragile? How do you handle someone who is fragile?” I recently heard a counselor tell the story of a client of hers who had been abused, horribly abused by men. And at the recommendation of the counselor, that she had decided to dip her toes into church, and so she came to church for months and months and months, and she would come in late, she would sit in the back, she would not talk to anyone, and she would leave early. And after months of attending this church, she said to her counselor, she said, “I have watched this father every week and he always bends down to love his little girls and he treats them with dignity and he treats his wife with dignity, and he is always gentle.” And she said to her counselor, “I think I am beginning to understand what you keep telling me the Lord is like.”
What is Jesus like? What is He like? How do you handle fragile people? How do you handle someone who is weak and who is messy? One commentator defined gentleness. I think this – “Gentleness is handling something that is fragile according to its nature so that it does not break.” So gentleness is a strong person stooping low to the weary, to the weak. To be gentle is to be strong enough to love a weak person and not crush them; to love a weak person without using them or crushing them. The man or the woman who stoops to my level, who bends to my frailties, who identifies with my weaknesses. That is gentleness. That is the gentle heart of Jesus – that your sin, that my sin does not repel Jesus; shockingly, it moves Him closer. How could such things be? Because He is gentle. What is He like, Dad? What is Jesus like? Well this is His heart. And Jesus twins these words together in Matthew chapter 11, that He is gentle and lowly. And so He is high and holy, but He dwells with the lowly. This is His place. This is His heart. “Strong like a lion,” as one author said, “tender like a lamb. Wise as a great king, but approachable like a lowly servant.” And so if you are here and you would admit too heavy, too much, much afraid, so tired, Jesus says, “Come to Me, I am gentle and lowly in heart.”
Isn’t it wonderful? The very things that make you feel like a disappointment, that those are the things that draw you to Jesus. Those things that make you feel like a disappointment, those are the very things that Jesus says qualifies you for friendship with Him. One author said that, “You don’t need to unburden yourself. Your very burden is what qualifies you to come.” And so an important lesson of the Christian life – Jesus does not look at you the way that you often look at yourself. He says, “I am gentle and lowly in heart.” It’s not that Jesus simply avoids hurting that which is fragile, but Jesus is drawn to help it. The Puritan, Richard Sibbes, in his devotional classic, The Bruised Reed, writes that “He will not only not break nor quench, but He will cherish. He will cherish those with whom He so deals.” And so consider a father. Consider the hatred a father would have against a terrible disease, against a terrible disease that afflicts his very own beloved child. The father hates the disease while loving the child. Indeed at some level, the presence of the disease draws out his heart to the child all the more. And so, one of the most important lessons of the Christian life – Jesus doesn’t look at you the way you look at yourself, and He doesn’t look at you with eyes of disappointment but eyes of delight. “What is He like, Dad? What is Jesus like?” Well, He says, “I am gentle and lowly in heart.”
The prophet Isaiah, in Isaiah chapter 42, predicted the gentleness of Jesus when he wrote of the coming servant of God, “a bruised reed He will not break, and a faintly burning wick He will not quench.” And so the specific word there for “reed” is “grain stalk.” And so the bruised, the bent, the crushed grain stalk that has a deep injury would be on the brink of death, would be at the point of extinction. And then that second picture, a faintly burning wick, that all of us can picture this – a candle, a fire at the very last moment, that it’s usefulness is spent. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that – the usefulness is spent and it can’t stay alive anymore. So that, what this means is, Jesus does not stomp on a tender piece of grass and Jesus doesn’t snuff out a flickering, just a little light, a little flickering candle. Or more deeply, it means that Jesus is for the fragile. That Jesus is out for the fragile. That He doesn’t take delight in crushing that which is weak, that which is small, that which is helpless.
So let me ask you – do you see that God is saying to you tonight about Jesus? If you have a checkered past, if you have regret, if you have shame, if you are withering inside, if you feel, “I’m not faithful enough. I’m not productive enough. I’m not put together enough.” – I want you to hear you are Jesus’ type; that He is for the bruised and the broken among us. That He is for the faintly burning wicks of the world. That who are those people in our community? He is for the faintly burning wicks, for the widows, for the lonely. He is for those with empty chairs. He is for those who are crying out, “How long? How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?” He is a man for the lowly. He is a servant King. He is a low man Himself and He won’t come into this world and break you. He won’t come into this world and break the weak or break the wounded, the weary, the fragile, or those on the brink of extinction. That is what it means to be gentle. That is gentleness. That is a definition – that Jesus, the CEO of the universe, the God made flesh, the Word made flesh, that Jesus handles with care the fragile. So that’s a definition.
Secondly, the direction. How do we cultivate gentleness in our life together? You should see this in the text. Matthew chapter 11 is familiar. In this passage, beyond describing His heart, Jesus gives an imperative. Jesus says, “Learn from Me.” So we are to learn the way of gentleness from Jesus. I want you to look just briefly at a few practical steps. The definition and nwo the direction. First, we need a new posture. I think we can all say this – that we need a new posture in our life together, in our community; that we need a posture, a new posture after Jesus. You see, gentleness isn’t in a vacuum. Gentleness isn’t in a vacuum. Gentleness shows up in sometimes the hardest of relationships. It pushes against cynicism. It pushes us against the things that we are prone to listen to. I think of 1 Samuel 16 – “Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord, the Lord looks at the heart.” Man looks at things that are inconsequential. Man looks at things that are minor. The Lord looks at the heart.
This summer, one of, I think, my most significant memories of just the guest preachers that we had that came in, was just a few weeks ago when Derek Thomas came. And so often in between the services I was trying to get the minister back for a brief time of rest, and Derek, as you know, a lot of the guest ministers were former staff, so it was hard to kind of pull Derek away. Everyone wanted to see Derek. And I was with him after the service, after the 8:30 service, and people kept asking Derek, they said, “Derek, do you want to come to our class? There will be people that will want to see you! Do you want to come and see so-and-so?” One class said, “Derek, we have a breakfast spread! Won’t you come and why don’t you eat breakfast with us in between the services!” Derek, and some of y’all might have been around, Derek kept saying to everyone, “No, I have some place to be.” He said that over and over again. “No, I have some place to be. No, I have some place to be.” And so in between the services, the people that Derek most wanted to be with – I hope that you’re not offended by this – the people that Derek most wanted to be with, Derek went to the special friends class. Derek wanted to be with Caroline Stone and Derek wanted to be with Alan Gardner. Those were the people that Derek most wanted to see. They were the people that he wanted to hug. They were the people that he wanted to see their smile, he wanted to see their joy. And that was the sermon that day that he preached to me. That was the gentle heart of a pastor. That was a gentle pastor.
One commentator said, “Are you on your high horse? Gentleness is found nearer the ground. Are you on your high horse?” Cultivate the fruit of gentleness by living a life of accessibility to all people from all walks of life and never think yourself better or more important than anyone. Gentleness is found nearer the ground. So no one gets left behind. That is the church. You give up on the beauty pageant – “Man looks on the outward appearance.” Man looks at the things that are inconsequential. “The Lord looks on the heart.” You give up on the beauty pageant trying to live for the judgment of other people. Jonathan Edwards says, “The Christian who is touched by his need for infirmity has the firmest comfort but the softest heart, richer than others but poorest of all in spirit. He is the tallest and strongest saint but the least and tenderest child among them.” He is the tallest. He is the strongest saint, but the least and tenderest child among them.
So we need a posture, and then second we need a picture that we do have to go back again and again and again to the gentle and lowly heart of Jesus. We need that picture. We need to stitch reminders into our life of the gentle heart of Jesus. You stitch them, you place them as banners over your life – on your mirror, in your car – these anchoring truths to bring you back to know that gentleness is your best friend, that gentleness is the beautiful way. “What is Jesus like, Dad? What is He like?” “A bruised reed He will not break.” “I have some place to be. No, I can’t do that. I have some place to be.” You stitch those reminders, as anchors over your life. Whatever those lines might be for you, those are mine. “He is gentle and lowly in heart.” “What is Jesus like?” “No, I have some place to be.” “A bruised reed He will not break.”
This summer we, in the Felker house, we have regularly had family movie nights. And just as an aside, school starts back this week and so we are in trouble. Our summer bedtime is going to catch up to us this Wednesday at the start of school, but one of our favorite movies this summer has been this wonderful movie entitled, Wonder. Wonder is a movie about a ten-year-old boy named Auggie. And Auggie is trying to fit in at a new school, but he has a genetic disorder that is characterized by deformities all over his face – on his ears and his eyes, his cheekbones and his chin. He’s undergone, in the story, 27 different surgeries on his face to help him function. As a result, as you can imagine, Auggie lives with a lot of insecurity. And his parents really love him well. And Auggie, in his insecurity, wears an astronaut helmet in public. Anytime he’s out in public he puts the helmet on. And Auggie’s dad, at the end of the movie, confesses to Auggie that months before he stole the helmet, that he stole Auggie’s helmet. And Auggie said, “I loved that helmet. I wish I knew where it was.” And so this was the dad’s confession. He said, “It’s in my office.” And Auggie began to get upset and his dad said, “Auggie, please don’t be mad.” He said, “You have to understand, you were wearing it all the time and I never got to see you anymore.” He said to his son, “I missed your face. I know you don’t always like it, but I love it. It is my son’s face. It is my son’s face and I want to see you.”
What is Jesus like? What is Jesus like? Friends, whatever in that story is beautiful, whatever is beautiful in that story is just a faint echo, it is just a pale reflection of how the Lord Jesus loves you. What has He done? That Jesus has come as a servant to love His bride, to love His disfigured bride – disfigured by sin. And you have to accept what the invitation of grace implies about you. You have to accept what it implies because then and only then can you handle with care the fragile and the weak and the helpless and the sorrowing and the difficult sinners among us and around us; in other words, yourself. You see, the foundation of a community that experiences the grace of Jesus, they live with a deep awareness that our common ground is our common need. So we gather, each of us and all of us, we gather as a people who live by the gentleness of Christ. That’s what joins us together. It’s not common race, it’s not common income, it’s not common politics. What joins us together, what binds us together is our common need of the gentleness of Christ. And so make gentleness your best friend. Make gentleness the beautiful way. The CEO of the universe handles with care fragile people. It is the way of Jesus. “What is He like, Dad? What is Jesus like?” Well, “A bruised reed He will not break.” “No, I have some place to be. I can’t go with you. I have some place to be.” Jesus said, “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.”
Amen. Let me pray for us.
Our great God and heavenly Father, we thank You for time together under Your Word. We do pray that You would make us gentle, that You would cultivate the fruit of gentleness in each of us and in all of us, and that You would change us tonight. We pray in Jesus’ name, amen.