Please take your Bibles in hand again and turn with me now to the Song of Songs. Song of Songs chapter 1, verses 5 through 14. If you’re using a church Bible, you’ll find that on page 560. The Song of Songs, this great love song between a woman, the Shulamite, and King Solomon, is, remember, an idealized account written by Solomon, likely at the end of his life, when a spirit and posture of repentance after his years of womanizing and backsliding and idolatry, picturing here the perfect marriage of the ideal king that Solomon ought to have been but never was. It was written to point forward to the true and perfect King of Israel, the greater than Solomon, the Lord Jesus Christ who is the Bridegroom who loves His Church, His Bride.
Now last week, we considered together the opening four verses where the Shulamite expressed her longing and her desire to be near her husband. “Draw me after you,” she cried to him. And we pointed out that the storyline in the song moves from courtship to marriage to a disruption in the relationship to a reunion. But in this first section of the song that we looked at last time, the Shulamite does not begin at the chronological start of her relationship with Solomon. Instead, as verse 4 tells us, she speaks as one who has already come, has been brought into the king’s chambers. Their union has been consummated. She and he are one flesh in the covenant bonds of marriage. And however long it has been since she first said, “I do,” nevertheless it is clear in these opening verses that her ardor and desire for her husband has continued to burn and shine brightly. She wants still to be as close to him as she can be. “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth,” she says. “Draw me after you. Let us run!” That’s what she wants.
And seeing that ought to lead us to ask some important questions about their relationship and the man that she’s come to love so very deeply. We should want to know in light of verses 1 through 4, “Hos is it that the flame of desire and passion has never been extinguished for you, Mrs. Solomon, when we all know, don’t we, so many marriages that tell a tragically different tale? What’s your secret?” And in many ways, the rest of the song answers that question – “What is the secret?” – by describing the way that the king loves her and the way she responds to him.
And she begins her answer today, you’ll notice, by taking us now right back to the start, back to her courtship with the king, the account of which begins here in verse 5 of chapter 1 which we are going to consider, verses 5 through 14, under three headings. First, we’ll notice her insecurity in verses 5 through 7. She is self conscious and unsure as she seeks her beloved. Then secondly, we’ll hear Solomon’s answer. He answers her the reassuring word and the invitation. Insecurity, then invitation in verses 8 through 10. And then finally, we’ll begin to explore the blossoming intimacy that grows between them as a result in verses 11 through 15. Insecurity, invitation, intimacy – three themes that are, I dare say, not unfamiliar to us when it comes to our earthly relationships – insecurity, invitation, intimacy – but which also very often describe the dynamics of our relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. We’re insecure – “How could He love me? Look at my wretched heart?” And His gracious invitation to us to come to Him in His marvelous lovingkindness, and then the blossoming of fellowship with Him in all its beauty and tenderness and love. Insecurity. Invitation. Intimacy.
Before we get started, let’s bow our heads and pray and ask for the Lord to help us. Let us all pray.
O Lord Jesus, would You now indeed draw us after You by Your Word and Spirit, even in this portion of Holy Scripture. Come to us. Speak to us. Lead us back to Yourself. In all our fears, all our self doubts, our spiritual insecurities show us that it is Your love for us not ours for You that beautifies us in Your eyes, that You regard us as precious in Your sight. And in the comfort and assurance Your love gives to us, help us come to You with renewed trust to enjoy the embrace of Your love. For we ask this in Your name, amen.
The Song of Songs, chapter 1 at verse 5. This is the Word of God. The Shulamite begins by saying:
“I am very dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon. Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me. My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept! Tell me, you whom my soul loves, where you pasture your flock, where you make it lie down at noon; for why should I be like one who veils herself beside the flocks of your companions?”
Then Solomon responds:
“If you do not know, O most beautiful among women, follow in the tracks of the flock, and pasture your young goats beside the shepherds’ tents.
I compare you, my love, to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariots. Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, your neck with strings of jewels.”
Then others, perhaps the daughters of Jerusalem, her companions, the virgins, respond:
“We will make for you ornaments of gold, studded with silver.”
Then the Shulamite again:
“While the king was on his couch, my nard gave forth its fragrance. My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh that lies between my breasts. My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms in the vineyards of Engedi.
Behold,” says Solomon, “ you are beautiful, my love; behold, you are beautiful; your eyes are doves.”
Amen.
Let’s look at verses 5 through 7 first of all and think in the first place about this theme of insecurity. Insecurity. She’s speaking at first here to her companions called the daughters of Jerusalem, and right away there is a note of tension in the Shulamite’s words, isn’t there? “I am very dark, but lovely.” She isn’t entirely down on herself – “I am lovely,” she says. The Hebrew word translated “lovely” means “beautiful,” but it can also refer to what is “seemly” or “fitting” or “suitable” or “becoming” in a person or their behavior. It’s used, for example, in Proverbs 17:7 – “Fine speech is not becoming to a fool.” It’s incongruous; it’s out of place. It’s not suitable. And it’s used in Psalm 33 verse 1 of the praise of God – “Praise befits the upright.” It’s appropriate; it’s fitting. And that’s her word here. She has a deep sense that she is lovely and seemly and fitting. She is suitable to her beloved. She believes they fit together.
It’s a different Hebrew word, but I think it’s the same idea that actually we find in Genesis chapter 2 verse 18 in God’s words about Adam at creation. “It is not good for the man to be alone. Let us make a helper fit for him” – suitable for him; corresponding to him. The Shulamite is echoing that idea here when she says, “I am lovely,” or “suitable” or “seemly” or “fitting.” She’s saying, “In my eyes, we were made for each other.” And yet, even though that’s how she feels, there’s still this deep sense of insecurity here, isn’t there? It’s an insecurity, if you’ll look at the text, that focuses on three things, three areas of her life. She’s insecure about her appearance. She’s insecure about her social status. And she’s insecure about her public reputation.
Notice what she says about her appearance first in verse 5. “I am very dark,” she says. And then she explains what she means. She tells her companions in verse 6, “Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me. My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!” So you see what’s happened. There’s been some kind of internal strife within her family and she’s been made to work out in the fields, and as a result, her skin has become deeply tanned. That last comment that she makes, “My own vineyard I have not kept,” is a metaphor. She’s saying, “Having been made to work out in the fields by my brothers, I’ve been unable to look after myself or tend to my own appearance as I would like.”
Now unlike today, a deep tan like this in her context was not at all desirable. It was a sign she was a menial worker, a farmhand. A contemporary equivalent might be “red neck.” If you call someone a “red neck” you’re implying they’re very country, they’re very rough. They’re low class maybe, uneducated perhaps. It’s an insult. Right? It actually has a very similar etymology as the Shulamite’s comments about herself and her own complexion here though, doesn’t it? It’s a way of saying – well a “red neck” originally referred to a poor, looked down on, menial laborer whose neck had gotten sunburned from being bent over, working all day out in the fields. And she’s using that language here about herself. The point is, she knows she does not conform to society’s standards of what physical beauty ought to be and she’s embarrassed. And so she says to her companion, “Don’t look at me. Put your phone down. No selfies of me on the internet please.”
And you notice in verse 5 she uses a pair of similes to illustrate this tension in the way that she feels about herself. Do you see them in verse 5? She is dark, sunburned, she says, “like the tents of Kedar.” The people of Kedar were nomads who covered their tents with thick, dark, tanned goathides. This is not a complimentary comparison. “Don’t look at me. I’m so sunburned my skin is like tanned, old goathide.” That’s sort of what she’s saying. But then on the other hand, she says, “I am lovely. I am becoming well suited to my lover like the curtains of Solomon.” Now that word for “curtains,” with a few exceptions here and there, is used overwhelmingly in the Hebrew Bible to refer to the curtains of the tabernacle, which was the precursor to the temple, the place where God met with His people and worship was offered to His name. In this case, I think “the curtains of Solomon” are an allusion to the decor of the temple in Jerusalem that Solomon himself built.
These temple curtains, they weren’t dark like the tents of Kedar; they were vivid and bright and beautiful, as befits the place where God dwells and made His name known. And Solomon himself had them made and provided them for the temple. I think she’s saying something like, “I could not be more suited to him than if he had made me himself, like the curtains he has made and has hung in the temple that he built.” And yet for all of that, she’s still deeply insecure about how she looks. “I just don’t meet the cultural norms of outward beauty. How could he possibly want me? How could he possibly want me?”
And it’s not just about how she looks that she is insecure. She feels this way about her social status as well, doesn’t she? Part of the offense of being called a “red neck,” after all, is the implication that we are poor and backwards and bluecollar and low class. We don’t belong. And that is exactly how she feels. Her skin betrays the evidence she is not a princess, she is not a noblewoman. She has been working out in the fields, but her beloved is the king! How can that work? He’ll never want someone so lowly as I, surely.
And it’s not just her appearance or her status, but also her moral reputation that she is worried about. In verse 7, she wants to know where to find him. “Tell me where you are,” she says to him, “for why should I be like one who veils herself beside the flocks of your companions?” A veil was commonly worn in those days by prostitutes. Tamar, in Genesis 38, seduced Judah by veiling herself. “I’m worried people are going to think ill of me and misunderstand my search for you. I don’t want my moral reputation to be publicly sullied as I seek for your love.” So she’s insecure about her appearance because however suited to Solomon she believes herself to be, she does not conform to societies norms of external beauty. She is insecure about her social status because she is a sunburned farmhand and he is the king. And she is worried about her moral reputation because she is longing for him and seeking him and doesn’t want anyone misjudging her.
And if you think about it, those concerns are all remarkably contemporary, aren’t they? Perhaps for some of us, all of this is all too painfully familiar. A 2025 survey entitled, “Female Body Perception Social Norms Criticism and the Impact of Weight Perception” said, “A prominent finding was the strong influence of societal and environmental pressures. Women describe being judged and evaluated by others which undermine their self confidence and increase anxiety about appearance. As one participant stated” – quote – “‘People judge me based on my appearance. I feel the pressure to look flawless.’ Participants also discussed the unrealistic, perfect body ideal imposed by media and culture. As one woman reflected, ‘Society imposes a perfect body standard on everyone, which is difficult to achieve.’ These external expectations were closely tied to the desire for social approval as captured by the remark – quote – ‘Being liked often seems to be tied to having a healthy and slim body.”
These are very much the fears of our age and they are echoed here, to some extent at least, by the insecurities we find taking hold of the Shulamite’s heart. Aren’t they? “I love him. I’m drawn to him. I think we fit together. And yet I hate how I look. Don’t look at me. Don’t take pictures of me. He can’t possibly be attracted to me, can he? And I worry what he thinks about me given my lowly social status and what other people might be saying about me.” Insecurity. Haven’t you felt that way? I know some of you have.
But the Shulamite doesn’t simply acquiesce in these fears, does she? Verse 7, she stops talking to her companions about her insecurities in much the same way that she did back in verse 2, remember, and she starts now talking directly to Solomon. “Tell me, you who my soul loves, where you’ve kept your flock, where you’ve made it lie down at noon. Tell me where to find you. Direct my way to you. Bring me to yourself.”
For many of us, our insecurities run deeper actually than the surface of our skin. Our insecurities are profoundly spiritual. We’re worried not just that our peers won’t love us; we’re worried that Jesus Christ, the one to whom Solomon points us, could not possibly want to know us, could not possibly care for us. “I mean, look at the mess of my life. My heart, my heart is burned and blistered by the scorching sun of my own bad decisions. I’m a failure. I’m a fraud. I’m guilty and dirty and unlovely. He won’t want me, surely!” But if this is you, may I encourage you to do what the Shulamite does here with Solomon? Instead of running from God like Eve in Eden who hid herself because she was naked and ashamed, won’t you run to Him whom your soul loves. You might need, like the Shulamite does, you might need to stop dwelling on your fears with everyone else and bring them to Him who alone can truly address them. Run with your sin-blistered soul to the greater than Solomon. Seek Him while He may be found. Call on Him while He is near. Please don’t let your spiritual insecurities become the excuse you use to validate your refusal to call out to Jesus Christ, the Good Shepherd. No, you go to Him and you say, “Tell me, you who my soul loves, where you’ve kept your flock. I want to come to you. Help me to find you.” If you will do that, as we are going to see in a moment, you will always find Him ready with His love to welcome you. You will.
And before we move on to Solomon’s response, do look carefully at how the Shulamite speaks to him. It’s not a nag, is it? Neither is it a whine or a demand or a complaint. “Tell me, you who my soul loves, where you have kept your flock.” There’s tenderness and kindness here, expressive of her desire, not to control him but to know him and be with him. For all the insecurities about appearance and body image and personal worth and social status that our cultural moment exacerbates and plays upon, perhaps ladies you find yourselves longing for the tender affection and admiration and affirmation of your beloved, and yet it may be, nevertheless, that you let your fears keep you from seeking him. You pull back and you hide away or you try to nag and manipulate him.
But the Shulamite, in all her insecurities, she runs to him and she seeks him and she expresses her desire to know where he is simply that she might be with him. She forms her words to him here actually quite carefully. However urgently she might feel her need of him in her heart, she is very careful. They are laced with love and desire. “Tell me, you who my soul loves.” Please don’t let insecurity drive love language from your lips or your fear of rejection make you preemptively harsh and accusatory. She doesn’t demand to know where he is – “Tell me where you are at noon.” If you take out the, “You who my soul loves,” the tone of this whole statement changes, doesn’t it, as if she’s trying to keep tabs on him or control him. She wants him to know, whatever personal insecurities might be plaguing her, she is willing and striving to overcome them just to be near him and enjoy his love. And she puts that into practice here in the way she moves toward him with tender words – “You who my soul loves.” Husbands and wives, remember Proverbs 15:1. “A gentle answer turns away wrath.” Tender words melt hearts. Tender words melt hearts. Insecurity. That’s the first thing to see.
Then secondly, notice how Solomon responds. He answers her fears and he invites her to draw near. Insecurity, now invitation. And isn’t it striking how his words directly address all her fears systematically. Notice what he calls her in verse 8. She is the “most beautiful among women.” “Do not look at me. I am very dark,” she said. “I don’t look anything like the models in the magazines. My life doesn’t resemble the curated lives of the social media influencers. Looksmaxers would sneer at me.” But he’s having none of it. “In my eyes, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. No one compares to you. I see only the loveliness of my beloved. I’m looking past the superficial nonsense of the world’s ridiculous standards. I don’t care what the fashion icons and the Hollywood stars look like. You are the most beautiful among women.”
Now here, I think, is a principle to grasp hold of. Real love in the heart makes beauty in the eyes. Love in the heart makes beauty in the eyes. It’s not drawn to mere appearances, but his love for her makes her beautiful to him. He wants a 1 Peter 3:3 woman. First Peter 3:3 – “Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” “I’m not looking for the height of fashion or the allure of immodesty. I’m looking for the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is deeply attractive to me, and it makes you shine with a beauty that leaves the world’s great beauties in the shade.”
You single men, are you looking for a 1 Peter 3:3 woman? Husbands, are you drawn to adore your wives for the imperishable beauty of a godly character? Now I’m not denying that physical attraction is important. Clearly in this song, the lovers are deeply physically attracted to one another. Aren’t they? Solomon isn’t merely flattering her when he calls her more beautiful than anyone he has ever seen. He means every word he says. You can see that, actually, if you look at verse 9. Look at verse 9 for a moment. “I compare you, my love, to a mare among Pharaoh’s horses.” Now that’s an odd compliment to us, isn’t it? I’m not sure I’d recommend it! Husbands, the next time your wife asks before a date, “How do I look?” – “O, you’re like a mare among Pharaoh’s horses!” But in Solomon’s context, it actually makes the point rather forcefully. There is evidence of an ancient strategy for thwarting an attack by enemy chariots. You send a mare out among the stallions to distract them, and none of the horses will do what they are told because they are far too taken with this mare who suddenly appeared in their midst. I think Solomon is saying to her, “I can’t think straight when you are around! Your beauty has me so distracted!” And so he means what he says here. She really is beautiful to him.
But it’s equally clear that hers is not the standard beauty, the merely external standard of beauty that her society demands. It’s a beauty that shines from her character first and above all else. He loves her, and his love for her beautifies her in his eyes. Love in the heart makes beauty in the eyes. Ladies, when our culture is bombarding you every day with messaging that demands that you fit its unattainable ideal of physical beauty, I hope you find some relief and comfort in the call of the Word of God which celebrates as truly beautiful a different standard all together – a quiet and gentle spirit, imperishable beauty that is precious in the sight of God. Aspire to that.
Now she has asked him, remember, where he will be pasturing his flock at noon. So she wants to come and find him. She wants a lunch date, let’s say. “Where are you going to be at midday? I want to come and find you and be with you.” And he answers her directly and specifically in verse 8. ““If you do not know, O most beautiful among women, follow in the tracks of the flock, and pasture your young goats beside the shepherds’ tents. It won’t be hard to find me. Just follow the tracks that my flocks make and I’ll be there waiting for you.”
Now we’ll come to the significance of this striking language in a moment, but before we do, please don’t miss how in everything that follows in Solomon’s reply to her he is systematically addressing her questions and her fears. She feels insecure, but she is more beautiful to him than anyone else. She feels like a red neck, so far beneath him he couldn’t possibly want her. But in verse 10 he says, “Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, your neck with strings of jewels.” The implication is that he has adorned her with earrings and a necklace as if to show her she is a queen to him, however lowly her origins. She wants to find him, but she is afraid of being misunderstood by others. But he calls her to follow his flocks in line which directly mirrors her own implying not scandal but welcome and invitation. She told her companions, “Don’t look at me. I’m so embarrassed.” But in verse 11, they don’t mock her, do they? They all join Solomon in adorning her with finery.
Husbands or would-be husbands, take note – Solomon has listened, do you see, with precise, thoughtful care and he answers and addresses each of her fears. He doesn’t dismiss her. He doesn’t say, “You’re being irrational.” He does everything he can to be the answer to her heart’s deepest needs. So the Shulamite speaks to her beloved as a shepherd and she wants to find him where he tends his flock, and he replies with directions about following the tracks that his flocks have made. What is really striking about all of that language is that unlike his father David, Solomon was never a shepherd. But remember, this is an idealized picture of the true and perfect Solomon. This is Solomon pictured like David2.0 – a shepherd king. Israel’s kings were often described in the Bible metaphorically as shepherds of the nation, and especially God Himself as the great shepherd of His people. So for example, Psalm 80 verse 1, “Give ear, O shepherd of Israel,” the psalmist says to the Lord, “You who lead Joseph like a flock.” And this imagery, along indeed with the Shulamite’s comparison of herself to the curtains of Solomon in the temple, I think allude to the fact and are meant to drive us beyond the purely literal reading of the text to see the bigger story here of the redeeming love of Israel’s true and perfect king for His people – Solomon’s final heir, the Lord Jesus Christ.
And so in John 10:14, Jesus says, “I am the Good Shepherd. I know My own and My own know Me and I lay down My life for the sheep.” He is the one who knows the needs of our hearts, your heart, who hears our cries, your cries, with patience and attentiveness and answers when His people call. His grace made to fit the need of your heart. Solomon settles the Shulamite’s fears. He sees her as beautiful. He adorns her with jewels and he leads others that she fears might mock her and judge her to make ornaments for her instead. But the Lord Jesus does much for us, doesn’t He? In John 10 at verse 10, the Good Shepherd says, “I came that they might have life and have it abundantly. I am the Good Shepherd and the Good Shepherd lays down His life for His sheep.” You won’t if He would ever want you, could ever love or welcome you because of what you have done, because of who you have been? You are ashamed. Maybe you’re hiding from Him. But He looks on His Bride, the Church, and sees her as beautiful. His love makes her lovely in His eyes and He adorns her, not with material riches and earthly finery, but with abundant life with the grace of holiness. So Paul writes in Ephesians 5:26 that Christ, the Bridegroom, loved His Bride, the Church, and gave Himself up for her “so that He might present us to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that we might be holy and without blemish.” Jesus beautifies all that He loves.
And so listen to me, sinner, guilty, chained, embarrassed, afraid. You don’t need to hide from Him like Adam and Eve in the garden hiding from God. He loves you already, and you can come to Him. There is a welcome and an invitation to you. And if you want to find Him, His invitation in verse 8 is full of wisdom for you. Look at verse 8. You see what He tells us to do? Follow the tracks of His flock. You follow His people where He leads them to green pastures and quiet waters and restores their souls. Be among the flock of God, Sunday by Sunday. If you want to find the Bridegroom, the Lord Jesus, you get yourself under the voice of the Good Shepherd who calls His sheep by name in the ministry of His Word. You’ll find Him where He has ordained that He might be found – here amongst His people, in the means of grace, in the worship of the Church, in the preaching of His Word.
Insecurity. Invitation. And then finally and very briefly, intimacy. Now we’ll come back to this point as we get on into chapters 2 and 3, but we see the beginning of the blossoming of intimacy between them here, don’t we, in verses 12 through 15. In verse 12 she says she is like perfume to him. “The king was on his couch, my nard” – which is a kind of perfume – “gave forth its fragrance.” And then she says he is like perfume to her. In verse 13, “My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh that lies between my breasts, a cluster of henna in the vineyards of Engedi.” Engedi was an oasis in the desert. So in place of fear and insecurity, now they are reveling in the scent of each other and it’s like an oasis in the desert to them. And he responds to her, do you notice, “You are beautiful, my love; you are beautiful. Your eyes are doves.” Her gaze holds him transfixed. He’s wrapped and captured. He’d head over heels. And so their love blossoms like a new Eden here, doesn’t it, fragrant with aromas, refreshing like an oasis, lush like a vineyard. It’s like a new creation.
And this is how a Christian marriage ought to be – an oasis in the desert. It’s meant to be a glimpse of the world to come because it is the closest picture on earth of the final union and fellowship between Christ and His Church that will reach its final consummation in the new creation at last. This is what Jesus came to bring us into, isn’t it? Not just a joyous, loving, earthly marriage but to the marriage supper of the Lamb when, as it were, the oasis of Engedi expands to fill the whole earth and make the desert a garden. The Shulamite is insecure, as we so often are, and not just about our appearance in the eyes of the world but about whether we would ever qualify for Jesus’ love. But the good news, as Solomon’s response here reminds us, is that we don’t qualify for His love. His love beautifies us. It is love in the heart, in His heart, that makes beauty in the eyes. He loves and beautifies us by His grace, changing us, purifying us, sanctifying us. And so He invites us to follow the tracks of His flock. Come and be where He has appointed to meet us – here in the means of grace on the Lord’s Day. Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together as some are in the habit of doing. Press in and pursue your Savior, the Shepherd of your souls, that you might experience this sweet love for yourself. When you do, you’ll begin to taste the wonder of spiritual intimacy with the heavenly Bridegroom, the true King, the Lord Jesus Christ.
For a believer in Jesus, Eden is not completely lost. Heaven is not entirely in the future. You get to taste something of the joy and delight of intimacy with Jesus that makes the barren, dreary, old desert world around us into the lush vineyards of Engedi, right now, today. And the Song of Solomon is written to awaken a deepening longing in your heart for exactly that intimacy. May the Lord give it to us all by His wonderful grace. Let us pray.
Lord Jesus, we do confess to You our fearful, insecure hearts. We see our sin and our wickedness and instead of running to You with it, we hide from You and we question whether You could possibly care for us. How can You bear it? How can You tolerate us? We can hardly tolerate ourselves. So as we confess our sin to You, Lord Jesus, we’re so grateful that Your Word tells us, assures us that it is not the righteous but sinners that You have come to call. You love us and Your love for us beautifies us, makes us clean and spotless and radiant by Your marvelous grace. And so we come running to You now. We don’t want to run away, but we want to run to You and ask, Lord Jesus, that You would enfold us in the intimacy and tenderness of Your love again, for we pray all of this in Your name. Amen.